Ep 151 - TTPP Part 5: Internal Peace Creates External Speed in Your Business
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[00:00:00] Welcome back to the, uh, Coaching Circle, and this episode is the, uh, final episode of the five-part series that I've been doing around, uh, the Turning Point process. And, uh, so if you haven't-- if this is the first episode you've picked up, please go back and watch the last, uh, four e- episodes, or listen to the last four episodes as well, um, because they all build onto each other.
However, you will still get a lot of value from this, even if you haven't heard the other ones, uh, because this is one of my favorite parts of the Turning Point, and this is where I see, you know, the biggest transformation with people. And, uh, and, and the theme of this step in the Turning Point process is really about how creating internal peace creates external speed in your life and business.
And, and what that means is that by the time you've got to this [00:01:00] step, you've got so much more energy available that things just start happening a lot faster. You create a lot faster. You've got greater capacity for, um, doing what it is you wanna do, but also receiving the levels of success and freedom that you want to have.
So, um, each step naturally leads to the next one, and, uh, in the first, uh, episode of this series, we talked about validate, which is the first process, uh, first step I should say, in the Turning Point process. And validate is where we are able to really separate our pain or our old limitations from our identity, and that's the point where a lot of people, uh, get stuck in their personal development journey.
And this is why it, it's so important that this step happens. And, uh, it's where you can stop seeing yourself as the problem or that there's something wrong with you, and start to really recognize [00:02:00] that the limitations or the emotions or whatever was going on for you Uh, were really just adaptations to the experience that you had.
And pretty much 99% of the time it goes back to childhood because so much of our identity and who we believe we are is formed in childhood when we don't have the ability to really discern the difference between what we deserve and what's going on and what other people have capacity for. And so after that step, we then move into release.
That was part two of this series. And, uh, in release, once we've been able to validate, um, we're able to finally separate from that old pain and that identity, and we can stop carrying the emotional weight and responsibilities and roles that were never yours to carry in the first place. And, um, that awareness, uh, really opens [00:03:00] people's eyes, like immensely to get a completely different perspective.
And then from there, we move into step three, which is reclaim. And when that weight's been lifted and you've got this clearer perspective, then you can reconnect with what it is that you always deserve to receive, right? What you always deserve to feel and know about yourself. And this is the basis of unmet needs.
So, you know, a lot of people's problems revolve around feeling like that there's something that they don't have access to, and they're always in search of it These are unmet needs. And so in reclaim, we're able to get access to those needs ourselves, which is what we're always meant to have learned to do.
And, uh, and then from there, uh, which was the last episode, we get to, uh, then start to embody that. And so what happens is that once we have let go of this [00:04:00] old stuff and we've realized what we actually have connection to, then we, we... It's like you've float up to the top, right? Your emotional frequency rises naturally because your natural frequency is much higher, and it's like a cork being held under water.
Like as soon as you, whatever is holding it down is let go, it naturally rises to the top, and this is the same with your emotional state. Once you release whatever's been holding your emotional state lower, you naturally rise to the top, and that's where people suddenly feel this access to peace and joy and freedom and excitement and ease, and all of the things that are a match for what you actually wanna create.
Because whenever you've got a goal, um, in any area of your life or your business, it's always related to a state that you think it will create for you. But when you don't have access to that state, it's nearly impossible to do the actions and to get the [00:05:00] actual results that will be a match for that state, and that's where we see people hit ceilings and, uh, and really feel like they're putting a lot of effort and spinning their wheels and not getting anywhere And so of course then that brings us to the fifth, uh, fifth step in the Turning Point process, which is activate.
And, uh, and this is what I'm gonna be talking about today, and this is really exciting. So, you know, one of the things that I've found over the last 10 years, uh, that I've been coaching and training people is that a lot of people sort of feel like growth is about adding something in, right? Adding something.
If I just get more of something, then I'm going to be okay. So it might be more knowledge or more discipline or more confidence or just take more action. And those things will get you so far, but the real difference happens, the real growth happens when you actually just r- remove everything that's getting in the way of your growth.
Because the two most, um, [00:06:00] fulfilling human needs, like there's six human needs, Tony Robbins talks a lot about that, that there's, you know, certainty and uncertainty. There's, uh, significance, and there's love and connection, and then there's growth and contribution. Growth and contribution are the two needs that give you the most satisfaction and fulfillment.
And, uh, and so you're naturally driven to grow, right? You don't-- You've got that inside yourself. And so this is the thing that, you know, we really want to, uh, think about, and this is where we get to in, in activate, right? Is that we finally have energy available to be able to activate and action the things that we need to do i- with a whole lot more ease.
And this is why, um, this episode is called Internal pe- Internal Peace Creates External Speed. And so [00:07:00] what we wanna think about is when- You've got a lot of internal conflict or a lot of emotional baggage or limitations that are there, it consumes so much energy for you to manage that. And that's why people, when, you know, you're feeling like things are hard and there's a lot going on, you're feeling stressed, it's exhausting 'cause it takes up so much energy for your unconscious mind, for your body to be, like, managing all of that.
So, you know, that's where, you know, people-- you might find yourself second-guessing yourself, or like replaying conversations over and over again, worrying about what people think, um, trying to prove yourself or trying to keep everybody happy. Um, and, you know, people tend to, like, hold themselves back from things in case they get it wrong or they, they get embarrassed or humiliated or, you know...
And all of that just takes an enormous amount of emotional energy, [00:08:00] and, and emotional energy is your creative energy. And so if it's tied up worrying about all this other crap, it makes it very hard for you to create what you actually want. So the Turning Point process doesn't magically give you energy, it gives you access to your natural energy that's been busy doing something else.
And so, you know, that energy was once tied up protecting, you know, things from your past and protecting you from feeling things that have been, um, you know, significant in your past, and that suddenly becomes available for you to put into creating for your future. And that's why I say internal peace creates external speed, and that's why things start moving a whole lot faster And I see this time and time again.
You know, I work with clients, um, and they'll come to me about their business 'cause they feel stuck in things in their business. We do a lot of personal work and a lot of the work with the turning [00:09:00] point, and then b- before we know it, things just happen really fast in their business. So they suddenly find staff that they thought was a hard pr- like it was a big problem for them to be able to get the right staff before.
Suddenly they, they're getting really good staff on board. Um, suddenly they're able to, you know, motivate their existing staff to, you know, step up and lead and to, um, work towards their KPIs. And so, uh, all of this stuff just happens really fast. Things just start falling into place. New clients come in. Um, things that seemed to be elusive before suddenly arrive.
You know, conversations suddenly happen. Opportunities appear. Uh, and it happens so fast, which is... It's always mind-blowing, but it's amazing. And so this is why business suddenly feels different when you get to this step, because your mind isn't occupied by protecting yourself anymore, and it's got the space to create.
And so you make [00:10:00] decisions more quickly because you're not arguing with yourself anymore, and you communicate clearly because you're not filtering everything through a level of fear, worrying about how it's gonna be received. And you just trust your instincts because you're no longer waiting for someone else to tell you what is the right thing, right?
You're not looking externally for someone to validate you or to let you know what's okay. So, you know, in this space as well, you recover from setbacks more easily because they no longer define who you are. Like, you know, there is no way that you're going to achieve everything you want in business and never have a failure, right?
Like, it's just part of the process. Um, you know, in NLP we talk a lot about there is no failure, there's only feedback. So failure is just a process of learning what doesn't work so that you can not do that again and then correct and go again and, and do things that do work. And so- [00:11:00] From that space, your business will move forward with greater ease because your energy is finally moving in the right direction, in a forward direction, instead of being half forward and half back.
So that's your thoughts, your emotions, your decisions, you know, your words and your actions. They're all aligned. And when people talk about alignment, this is ultimately what alignment is, is that within you, what you say you want, what you think about, what you picture, what you feel, what you do, are all aligned with each other.
They all match. And that alignment creates real momentum. And so this is the activate step, right? This is where creation really steps up a notch. And, uh, and i- it's what it's all about at this place. So it's choosing where this, uh, energy that you now have act- uh, ac- um, access to actually goes, right? You've got more [00:12:00] control over how you use your energy.
And so instead of having used all your energy like you were before, invested in surviving and making sure you're safe, it's now available for creating, right? You can't be in survival and creation at the same time. They're, like, going in different directions. So when you're available and your energy's available to create, that's where things speed up, and you create the business that you actually want, that gives you the time and money freedom.
Um, you create the relationships that actually support you because you're no longer in any of those other weird kind of, you know, drama cycles that are going on. You create experiences that bring you joy because you're in a space of being w- uh, a match for it, right? You're available y- to feel joy so that you can have experiences that match that for you.
And it's so much easier to, um, [00:13:00] create boundaries and enforce your boundaries that honor your values because you're not worried about what other people think, and you're not abandoning yourself anymore. You're being more loyal to yourself than to other people. And, uh, and you have to be loyal to yourself to be loyal to other people anyway because if you're not being loyal to yourself, you're not being true to other people, right?
People-pleasing and all those things isn't authentic. It's not honest. It's not the truth of who you are. And so- When you stop protecting yourself from what you don't want, you can be invested in what you do want. And it's a completely different way to build a business, and it's super empowering. So this is where, you know, business becomes an expression of you, right?
This is what I love about business, is it gives us a, the vehicle and the structure to become fully expressed. And you need to be fully ex- expressed to make the most of your [00:14:00] business. So, you know, instead of trying to prove yourself or, uh, or have people perceive you a certain way, you start asking yourself, "Well, what is it I wanna create?"
And your focus becomes on what you want to create. And so your business becomes an expression of your true values and your vision, and what you actually wanna contribute to the world. And that's what it's all about, right? You're no longer looking for, you know, other people to tell you who you are and what's okay because you already know it.
You already know it in yourself. You already have that certainty in yourself, and your business becomes a way of expressing it And so I really want you to reflect on this for yourself. Now, if you've been following through this process and you've created more space, what is it you actually wanna create?
What do you have space to create? Because it increases your capacity, right? This is a really [00:15:00] important thing to understand, is that with your personal evolution and with letting go of all the stuff that's no longer relevant to you, that's not yours to carry, it increases your capacity. Now, I've s- definitely seen this for myself and my own business, and you know, when I talk to people that are starting their business and they're like, "Oh, everything feels like a lot, and social media, and sales, and clients, and how do I fit it all in?"
And all those kinds of things, it's to do with the capacity of your nervous system. Uh, if I... My s- my version of me from 10 years ago dropped into my business now, I can guarantee you it would be completely overwhelmed because I didn't have the nervous system capacity to hold that at that time. It has increased as I've gone because I've continued to do the work on myself, and I've let go of all of the stuff that wasn't aligned with what I wanted to create.
And so this is where you really get to be in that space of, [00:16:00] uh, doing and being invested in what genuinely matters to you. And so what is it that you would love to do if you had more energy available to you, if you had greater capacity in your nervous system? It's where your goals get bigger. It's where it's safe to be more visible, where it's safe to, uh, receive more, to hold more, that you have the structure and the capacity for it.
So this is really bringing the, the series together. Um, you know, as I mentioned, over the last five episodes, we've walked through the whole five steps of the turning point process. We've gone from validate, to release, to reclaim, to embody, and now a- activate. And it's important to know that this process is not about fixing yourself, right?
You're not broken. You've never been broken. Um, and you know, one of the questions that so many people ask me is, [00:17:00] you know, "Do you think it's actually possible for me to resolve these things?" And the answer is absolutely yes, as long as you're willing to commit to that process because- Like I know myself, I'm very, very good coach.
I'm very good. People tell me all the time that I'm a great coach and I've changed their lives and I've done all these things, which is fabulous to hear. But the fact is, I'm very good at asking the right questions and being able to show people where their perception is at, of themselves, of the world, of their, you know, life, whatever is going on, of their business.
Uh, but it's still up to you to be the one who decides that's what you choose for yourself. And sometimes this can be really difficult because the stuff we've gotta let go of is, is often like a very complex, you know, tapestry of, of how we've learned how the world is right back from where we're born. Um, but the thing that you always have to remember [00:18:00] is that letting go of stuff that limits you is always gonna make you stronger.
It's always gonna make you more powerful. It's always gonna make you safer, right? The old stuff that you had there was a, an adaptation that you created when you were much, much younger and much less resourceful. Um, but most adults are walking around with strategies that they created when they were young, like under seven year old young.
So if you think about it now, if, uh, you had a decision to make or something to do, would you ask the advice of a five-year-old of whether it's a good idea? Of course you wouldn't, 'cause five-year-old only cares if it feels good for them or not. Um, and they don't have the capacity for adult things. They don't have the capacity for business.
Uh, and so, you know, this is where we create that safety in ourselves, that we mature, that, you know, that child that was, you know, left [00:19:00] abandoned or whatever else, and we bring it up into current day with us, where there is the safety, where we get to choose, where we have the structure, where we have the boundaries, where we know that we can meet our own needs.
And if there's anyone in our life that doesn't want our needs to be met, we get to make that choice about how much access they have to us, right? You're not gonna be left alone and by yourself and destitute because you let go of old stuff. That's never gonna happen. You're always gonna become more resourceful, uh, and more connected to yourself, and therefore connected to the people that are gonna support what is actually good for you in your life, and this is empowerment.
This is where your power comes. When... You know, empowerment as a word gets bandied around a lot, but it's really about you being in connection with your own power to create, right? A lot of people are, are a little bit funny about [00:20:00] the word power, and what does that mean? Having power does not mean power over other people, it means power over yourself, power over your own reality, power over your ability to create what it is that you want in every aspect of your life and your business.
And when we've got that, a- access to that energy, and we direct it in the direction of where we're going, um, that's when we know that internal peace creates external speed. And what it is that you want happens faster than what you think was possible before. So if you've been listening to this series, this five-part series of the, uh, coaching circle, and you've been through the entire series, thank you for being along on the ride.
And, uh, and you know, my hope is that through this, you no longer see your business as something that's constantly testing you, [00:21:00] and instead you see it as an invitation. It's a, it's a fantastic tool that really shows you w- what areas of yourself aren't in alignment. And when you have that awareness, and you have the tool to be able to resolve that, then you get to understand yourself more deeply.
You get to be more self-expressed. You get to lead yourself with greater intention, and you create from alignment instead of survival. And that's when you build a life and a business that you truly want to live, that you love living And finally, if you are in Adelaide, South Australia, and you're listening to this episode, I would really love to invite you to come to the, uh, official book launch of The Turning Point, uh, the book that I wrote on this process.
Uh, it's being official launch. I'm having an amazing night of celebration and [00:22:00] networking at the, uh, uh, Walker's Arms Hotel in Walkerville, Adelaide, South Australia. It's on Wednesday the 12th of August. So if you're listening to this on the day this is released, which will be Tuesday the 11th, um, it's tomorrow night.
Um, you need to book a ticket. Your ticket will involve, uh, include a drink on arrival, canapés. Um, there's gonna be great insights and stories, connection, networking. There's gonna be a photographer, and lights, and balloons. It's gonna be a fabulous evening and, uh, and I would love to see you there. You'll also get a signed copy of, uh, The Turning Point book included in your ticket and, uh, it'll be an amazing event.
I'm super excited for it. So it would be wonderful to celebrate this milestone with you and spend the, uh, evening with other like-minded business owners and leaders who are committed to creating their own meaningful lives and businesses as well. Um, so it'll be a night to be inspired, and connect, and grow.[00:23:00]
Um, just my type of event. So, uh, I hope to see you there. The, the link to buy the tickets, uh, will be in the show notes. You can go to my website, tonyavrad.com, and go to the book, uh, in the menu, and you'll see there on the page the book launch. You can book straight from there as well. If you have any troubles, reach out to me and I'll direct you in the right, uh, way so that you can get your ticket and come along and see us.
So thanks for being along on the ride on this five-part series, and I'll speak to you next week.
