Ep 147: Toni Everard - TTPP Part 1 - Why Feeling Understood Changes Everything in Your Business

There are moments in business where it feels like you're doing everything right...

You're investing in yourself.

You're learning.

You're taking action.

Yet somehow you're still overthinking, undercharging, people-pleasing, doubting yourself, or holding back from being fully visible.

You start wondering why success feels so much harder than it should.

But what if the problem was never your strategy?

What if the real obstacle has been the emotional patterns you've been carrying long before you ever started your business?

In this first episode of the five-part The Turning Point Process™ (TTPP) series, Toni Everard introduces the transformational framework she created after more than a decade of coaching, training, and helping thousands of people break free from the unconscious patterns keeping them stuck.

Toni shares why business is one of the greatest personal development journeys you'll ever experience, why almost every business challenge is really a people challenge, and how the first step toward lasting transformation begins with one powerful concept: validation.

You'll discover why so many entrepreneurs continue repeating the same emotional patterns despite years of personal development, why awareness alone isn't enough to create change, and how feeling truly understood can become the catalyst for lasting personal and business transformation.

If you've ever questioned your worth, struggled with visibility, feared rejection, or found yourself wondering why business continues to trigger the same emotions, this episode will help you understand where those patterns really come from—and why they're not flaws, but adaptations that can finally be released.

This episode explores:

• why business is ultimately a journey of personal transformation

• the origin story behind The Turning Point Process™ (TTPP) and why Toni created it

• why most business problems are actually people problems

• how childhood experiences continue influencing your business decisions today

• why awareness alone doesn't create lasting change

• the hidden emotional patterns behind people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, undercharging, perfectionism, and fear of visibility

• the difference between fear and real danger—and how your nervous system confuses the two

• why your unconscious mind creates stories that keep you playing small

• what true personal power and authority really look like

• how emotional safety allows you to confidently step into leadership

• why children often believe "something is wrong with me" and how those beliefs shape adulthood

• how childhood adaptations become the behaviours that hold you back in business

• why your patterns are not personality traits—they're survival strategies

• why validation is the essential first step before lasting emotional healing can occur

• how feeling understood helps separate your identity from your past experiences

• why healing isn't about finding the perfect words—it's about reconnecting with what your body has been holding onto

• how understanding your emotional patterns can make business feel easier, lighter, and more aligned

If you've been doing the inner work but still feel stuck, if business keeps triggering the same fears, or if you're ready to stop fighting yourself and start leading with confidence, this episode will completely shift the way you think about growth.

Because lasting success doesn't come from becoming someone new.

It comes from releasing everything that made you believe you weren't enough in the first place.

🔗 Let’s Connect

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Business Growth for Heart-Led Coaches, Practitioners & Therapists

If you found this episode valuable, share it with a business owner who is ready to level up, or leave a review to help more people discover The Coaching Circle.

Order your copy of The Turning Point
If you’d love to dive deeper into Toni’s emotional freedom work, you can pre-order your copy here: The Turning Point Book

Links and Resources:

🔹 The Turning Point Book

🔹 Book an Action Call

Connect with Toni Everard:

🌏 Website

📥 Email

💼 LinkedIn

📘 Facebook

📸 Instagram

📺 YouTube

Transcript

​[00:00:00] 

But welcome to this episode of The Coaching Circle, and this is a very, very special episode, and it's going to be a five-part series. Now, I'm really excited about this because what this series is about is the turning point, and the turning point process is something that I created after, uh, 10 years of coaching and training.

And, you know, as you might know if you've listened to this for a while, that I'm, I'm a master trainer of NLP, you know, trainer of hypnosis, timeline therapy, and I taught those, um, certifications for eight years. And once I stopped teaching that, I had space to really think about, you know, what is it that, uh, keeps people in the same patterns, even when they have, you know, learned all types of, um, you know, ways [00:01:00] of understanding their own mind and having awareness or, or having coaching and all those kinds of things.

And especially, you know, I'm super passionate about helping people in business because, um, you know, you'd always hear me talking about that business is really a game of psychology. It's, it's one of the biggest things for, um, really bringing to the forefront what you need to work on in your own personal development.

And so, you know, I, I saw these recurring patterns and I thought, you know, there's gotta be something that can, um, really get to the root of what's going on for people that doesn't have to be complicated, that, you know, can be in a really simple process that's accessible to everyone. And so, you know, that's where the turning point process was born, and it was a process that I was using with my clients and getting incredible, uh, results with my clients.

Um, I keep-- was using it for myself and, [00:02:00] you know, getting incredible, um, shifts for myself that really enabled my business to move forward and grow as well. And so, um, so that's when I decided, you know, I really need to write a book about this. And I, you know, wrote the book. That, um, was published in April this year.

Um, and you know, I've-- it's sold well over 100 copies in a very short amount of time, and it's getting huge amounts of feedback. And, uh, and so I really wanted to do this five-part series of really explaining how these parts of the turning point process really relate to you in business and helping you to really expand who you are so that you can achieve the goals that you wanna achieve.

Because, you know, you might have noticed that, um, or listened to last week's, uh, episode when I talked about, you know... When you get to that point of feeling like you wanna burn your business down, right? Um, [00:03:00] and these are the, the moments where it's not really about burning your business down, but it's that the old programs and the old, um, you know, uh, kind of beliefs and identity that you've been running from just aren't a match for the goals that you're trying to achieve.

And so, you know, when we think about business, business isn't just business, right? Business is the vehicle that when you master business and, uh, and you master yourself in a way that you can utilize business, it becomes the best vehicle and the best tool for you to be able to create what life you want to live and the impact that you want to create in the world.

It gives you the structure for that. But to utilize that structure to its most, um, imp- in its most impactful way or the most powerful way requires you to become more of yourself and [00:04:00] to, you know, let go of any of the, any of the stuff that's limiting you. And that's why, you know, I love doing this work and, like I said, this is why the Turning Point process is so important in this whole, um, realm of business and how I work with my clients And so, you know, wherever you've thought that there's been a business problem, I can guarantee you there's a people problem underneath it, right?

Because, you know, one of the things I often talk about is how we evolve from creating complex solutions to simple problems. Um, and as we evolve, we then are able to create simple solutions to complex problems. And so what happens is that, um, you know, we evolve our thinking, and it means that we can create much simpler pathways through things.

So what I mean by that is that when we're creating complex problems, the [00:05:00] complexity that we create in our lives or in our business are always around things like, "What will people think of me? Uh, I feel like I'm an imposter. I'm, I'm fearful of, you know, what might happen. Um, I don't believe I'm that kind of person."

Like, it's always-- the complexities always come from the false illusions that we have about ourselves. Um, and once we can strip those false illusions away, then we become much more effective in being able to think logically about things and, and recognizing patterns and solutions much, much faster. Um, and so, you know, this is what I'm really passionate about, you know, helping people with.

So, um, so, you know, the turning point is, uh, really come about is, is a lot of the key work that I do for people and, uh, and, you know, if you feel like you've done a lot of [00:06:00] personal development or you love doing personal development, but you're still undercharging or you're still overworking or you're still feeling uncomfortable being visible or, uh, vulnerable or, you know, really expressing what you truly think or what you truly feel, um, if you're doubting yourself or if you feel like you're people pleasing, all of those types of patterns, uh, will negatively impact your business.

But they're all personal issues that you can resolve with the turning point. And so this is why, you know, we have to realize that just having awareness about patterns or, you know, our childhood doesn't necessarily create change. Um, knowledge isn't enough if you're not acting on that knowledge. Um, and we've really gotta look at what is deeper underneath it.

And so when we think about why is it that business can trigger us so [00:07:00] much, uh, it, it's because that being successful in business requires you to step into your own power and authority. And then when I talk about power and authority, it is very much around power and authority over your own life, not over other people.

And this is why a lot of people reject power and authority because you've probably been in situations where someone's tried to, um, you know, uh, exercise their power and authority over you, and it doesn't feel good. So you feel like that's what power and authority means, but it's not. Power and authority is over your own life, over your own results.

So that means that what you decide you wanna get, you, or have, or do, or be, that you're the one who decides that that's perfectly okay, and that you're the person who is like, is fully backing that, and it doesn't matter what other people say. And when you become that person, when you express yourself [00:08:00] in that way, then nobody else is drawn to try to take you down anyway because people will only try to control those people who they get a sense of are able to be controlled, right?

So when you express yourself in a way that you don't believe people-- other people can control you, nobody tries to control you, right? So, um, so when we think about business, you know, the key thing in business is that in business it requires us to be okay with rejection, and criticism, and uncertainty, um, responsibility, leadership, visibility, success, money.

Um, and those things- Uh, have all got different layers and different levels of what, where we feel comfortable with it. And if you're not achieving the goals that you say you want at the moment, I can guarantee that there's some level of any of [00:09:00] those, um, that, uh, you're not fully expressed in or you're not fully comfortable or feeling safe in, and this will be the underlying unmet needs that, um, we talk about and discover and resolve through the Turning Point process.

Um, and you know, when we have situations in business where, you know, we are feeling criticized or judged or, or fear or, you know, all of those kinds of things that come up, um, it's not because we're actually in danger. And this is really important to understand, is there's a difference between fear and danger.

Danger is when there is actual danger, real danger to you, usually physically, right? Whereas fear is just fear of a perception of what's gonna happen. Um, but those feelings can become very overwhelming, and they can prevent people from taking action and doing the things that they wanna do. Um, and [00:10:00] it's because that fear signals to your body that there's something wrong, and as soon as your body feels like there's something wrong, those sensations of those emotions in your body, your mind will start telling you that you're not supposed to do this, right?

You're not supposed to do it. Maybe I'm not cut out for business. Maybe I shouldn't make myself too big. Maybe I shouldn't make any more money. Maybe I shouldn't have any more clients. Maybe, maybe, maybe. All of these kinds of stories will pop up So, so the key thing is in the turning point is, you know, why it works is because it really gets to the depths of understanding how, where these emotional patterns started for you, and to be able to, um, to unhook them, for you to unidentify from them, and to ultimately create emotional safety for yourself.

And once you create emotional safety for yourself, then you can step into your own power and authority and go ahead and take action and create things. [00:11:00] Um, and, and things start flowing your way, right? Life becomes more easeful. Business becomes more easeful. And so this is really important. So, you know, when we think about, you know, where do these things happen, like I said, they-- it always stems back to childhood because it's in childhood that you learn how to get your needs met, right?

It's where our identity forms. It's where, where we learn about what is going on in the world, right? We learn, and we learn it all unconsciously from the people around us, from our environment, from our culture, from our society, from our families, from our parents, and we are hugely influenced by the adults and the parents and the carers and the teachers in our lives.

And so Situations, you know, the amount of times that people have said to me, "Oh, but Tony, I had a really great childhood," right? It's not [00:12:00] about saying whether you had a good childhood or a bad childhood. It's not about this. It's not about saying whether your parents were good parents or bad parents. It's about finding out what your unmet needs were at some point in childhood that's led to how you feel now, right?

This is really important because, you know, as children, we don't see adults objectively. We don't think, "Oh, you know, my mom's just overwhelmed." We don't think, "Oh, you know, Dad's not very good at regulating his e-emotions." We don't think, "Oh, the teacher must be really stressed out," right? Children think, "Oh, there's an adult who's not connecting with me very well.

It must mean there's something wrong with me." And this is why that these types of, um, significant emotional events that happen a-a-as children start to become fused with who we are and what it [00:13:00] means about us and, and that's because children tend to personalize everything. They can't tell the difference between themselves and somebody else.

It's always about them. They're very self-centered 'cause that's all that they understand. And so when adults project their own emotion, you know, their own emotions or lack of responsibility onto a child, then the child does not have the neurological development to separate themselves from the adult and to understand that.

So, you know, that's when children conclude that they must be too much or that they're not enough or that they're difficult or they're a burden or that they're responsible for other people's emotions, uh, that they have to earn love, that, you know, that there's a risk that if they misbehave, then their needs aren't gonna be met, um, that they have to stay quiet, or they have to keep everyone happy.

Um, and this becomes part of the identity, and it's very [00:14:00] fear-based because for children, you know, children naturally want to know that when they connect with another human, and especially an adult, that that interaction is gonna be a positive experience, that it's going to increase connection with that adult.

And if they ex-ex-experience something that decreases connection with that adult, like that the adult's angry or stressed or dismissive or avoidant or, um, in some way in some negative type of state- Then, uh, and there's no explanation for it apart from, you know, they just get told it's their behavior, then that becomes part of their identity.

Um, and so this is really important. If there's not been any awareness by the adults around you or repair or recognition or anything else, the child wears that as a personal flaw rather than understanding that it's something going on with the adults And so, you know, this is where, you know, [00:15:00] these patterns can really show up in business in ways that, um, you know, become really, really challenging and make it feel like why, you know, why am I stuck?

Why is it I can't work this out? Why is it so hard for me? Um, and, you know, so things where people have been-- feel like they've been publicly humiliated or their emotions have been laughed at, or they've been criticized in some kind of public way that, you know, created some kind of separation or devaluing of themselves, um, can end up avoiding marketing or being the face of their business.

Um, you know, people that learned that, you know, y-you can't upset other people, like if other people are upset, then it's your fault, then become, you know, people pleasing and forever stressing themselves out of, um, you know, trying to keep their clients happy rather than realizing their clients are responsible for their own emotions.

Um, if, you know, you [00:16:00] weren't acknowledged and recognized for being valuable just as you were, because children don't need to do anything to be valuable, they just are valuable in who they're being, but if that wasn't recognized or acknowledged, especially by your father figure, then that can really affect how much value you think you've got to offer and how much you can charge.

Um, and so, you know, a lot of these things around money and visibility, um, and asking for what you want and, um, even having ease, you know? If you weren't encouraged to, you know, really relax and really have a good time or anything, if you always had to look like you were busy working or doing something for someone or, you know, not too excited or not too happy, then, you know, it can be really hard for you to achieve goals that you think are going to create more ease or joy or excitement for you because it'll feel like you're not allowed to have it, right?

So there's so many things in this way that really affect [00:17:00] us in business and, uh, and, you know, it's important to be able to understand that these-- they're not personality traits, right? Often when we think, "Oh, it's just who I am, it's just a personality trait," well then what happens is that stops us from actually being able to resolve it and, and connecting with the truth of, you know, who we really are.

So it's understanding that those things that you-you've, you've learned are personality traits are really just adaptations, right? They're adaptations. They're, they're ways you learned of being to try to keep yourself connected and out of trouble and, and surviving, um, and not being rejected or abandoned when you were little.

Um, and so this is why we look at the first step of the turning point is, uh, validation Uh, and it's really important because you cannot release something that, uh, you still believe is who you are, right? Like, [00:18:00] that you still believe is part of your identity or that there is something wrong with you. And, and so validation is really about being validated in how you felt, right?

When that, those first significant emotional things happened for you, um, and that there were adults around who, you know, maybe dad was really angry or mom was really upset or, you know, like something happened, a teacher said something, embarrassed you in front of people. Um, that it's really important that you're able to validate what that was like for you, right?

So that you feel understood, that you feel like, "Yes, I feel understood about how I felt at that time." Uh, and that, you know, recognizing that it's, it wasn't okay for adults to make you feel that way at that time, right? Like, 'cause as a child, it's not okay for other people to make you feel bad. You can receive [00:19:00] guidance, absolutely.

Um, but it's not okay for you to be made to feel bad, to feel, feel fearful, to feel like there's something wrong with you, to feel like you've upset people, right? Like, um, and so- We need to be validated in that. And once we feel validated, so we feel understood in how we felt in those significant emotional, uh, uh, events, um, and we feel understood, and that people can understand why you felt like that, and that it wasn't okay for you to be left feeling like that as a child.

Because this is where a lot of childhood trauma happens is, is not just in what's happened, but in when children feel negative emotions and nobody is available for them to be able to express what that's like for them. Nobody's available to understand how they feel. Nobody's available to help them process what that's like [00:20:00] for them.

And that's where the real childhood trauma starts. And, uh, Dr. Gabor Maté talks about this a lot, um, and it is really true. And so, you know, validation is such an important first step because once that happens, then the emotion stops sitting there as something that's wrong with you, and the nervous sy- system can finally start processing that properly and, uh, and that's what is required before we can move into being able to release those emotions, and that's what comes next.

And, you know, the beautiful thing about, um, the turning point is that, you know, with other modalities that, um, you know, you might have used or experienced before, is that they become very specific about naming the belief or the, or the emotion that is in your body. And, and that can be a [00:21:00] real problem for some people, because sometimes people don't have words for it.

Uh, and so this is what's different about the turning point, is that you don't have to give it a word. You-- all you need to do is recognize a sensation in your body, and it's so much easier to process when you can, um, have a, a, a process that takes you through recognizing the sensations rather than fitting appropriate words to it.

Because language makes a big difference, um, and if you language something or label something different than how-- what's linked to the actual sensation in your body, it won't shift, right? It won't shift And so this is part of the problem. So validation is really the first part in being able to reconnect with your true self and, you know, the needs that y- you had [00:22:00] as a child.

It's, w- it's the first step to being able to, to being able to even see that those emotions that you had at that time were not because you were bad, they were not because you were wrong, they're not part of your identity. They were the result of a situation that you were in, and that it was the responsibility of adults around you to help guide you through that moment, not leave you responsible for those emotions.

And this is where the, the big changes start. So, um, so the next step, which I'll talk about in the next, uh, part for next week, will be around releasing. So what happens after validation. But from, you know, today's session, uh, uh, today's session? Today's episode, I feel like I've been in a coaching session.

From today's episode, let me know what really resonated with you, what stood out to you, and just think about that for yourself. [00:23:00] You know, where is it in your business where things feel hard or where you feel limited? And just notice, you know, what are those sensations in your body? Because the more that you can connect in with noticing how you feel when you feel limited by something or challenged by something in your business, then the more you can start really, um, acknowledging that it's not a business problem It's like, uh, it's an emotional problem, right?

It's a personal problem, and 90% of the problems in business are people problems rather than business problems. Once you get yourself aligned with business, business becomes much, much easier. Um, and like I said, this is why business is such a big part of our personal growth, because it requires us to bring our full selves to the game.

Um, so, you know, think about that. What are the stories you attach [00:24:00] to yourself if you're challenged in business or business feels hard? Um, because that's gonna be the key to what's really going on. So remember, business just reveals our old patterns. It always goes back to childhood. Even if there's been other incidents that have happened through your life, the other incidents that happened through your life will be related to what you believed about yourself from childhood.

They all link up together, and they're not flaws, okay? Those patterns aren't flaws. They're not where you're defected. They're not where you're, you're, you know, truly incapable. They're adaptations that you learned as a child, and when we can validate those feelings, uh, then that separates who you are from what you experienced and what you felt, and that's what needs to happen before you can, um, let them go.

So, uh, yeah, that's, um, [00:25:00] step one, validation of the turning point. Now, there is a book launch that's coming for the Turning Point process. It'll be in Adelaide on the 12th of August, so definitely, uh, mark that in your calendar. You can also, uh, find links to purchase your own copy of The Turning Point in the show notes, um, below.

And, uh, and if you are a coach or a practitioner, um, interested in learning the Turning Point, there is gonna be the very first Turning Point, uh, process certification coming in September, which will be the 25th and 26th of September here in Adelaide, South Australia. And, uh, if you wanna know more about that, reach out to me as well.

But until next week, uh, when we're going into step two, have a brilliant week