Ep 140: Toni Everard - You Past Experience is Your Edge

So many coaches, practitioners and service providers are sitting on decades of experience that could completely transform the way they position themselves, communicate and lead in business… but instead, they’re trying to distance themselves from it.

In this episode, Toni Everard explores why your previous career, life experience and personal challenges are often the very things that create your deepest value, authority and thought leadership.

This conversation dives into the difference between generic information and embodied wisdom, and why lived experience matters more than ever in a world where people can access endless information online and through AI.

This episode explores:

• why rejecting your old career often weakens your authority
• how your past experience shapes your thought leadership
• the difference between information and embodied wisdom
• why your ideal clients are often connected to your previous life experience
• how lived experience creates deeper trust and credibility
• the role your personal challenges and breakthroughs play in your business
• why your story and perspective are part of your intellectual property
• how integrating your whole self creates more magnetic marketing and messaging

If you’ve ever questioned whether your past career, struggles or life experience are relevant to your business, this episode will help you see that the very things you’ve been overlooking may actually be the foundation of your greatest value.

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Transcript

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You are listening to the Coaching Circle with Tony Everard, business and Mindset coach and your strategic thinking partner. This podcast is for those who want to step out of the hustle and glow in the flow. We'll talk about all things mindset, energy, and structure so you can evolve from the inside out and build a business that supports the life you want to live. Let's dive in. Welcome back to the Coaching Circle Podcast. I'm really excited to be here, and today I wanna have a conversation around something that's been coming up a lot more with my clients lately, and especially with those people in the service-based industries, and coaches and practitioners, and, um, people that have been transitioning out of their traditional jobs and into building their own business. And what's been happening is there's, uh... I've really been seeing this pattern of where people tend to almost reject their past, to minimize where they've come from, uh, and to distance themselves from it, and almost even hide it, right? Like, of like, "I had this job," or, "Maybe I'm still in this job, and I'm trying to make it, like, seem like it's not there." Uh, and it's... act like, you know, that that role is now irrelevant because, you know, they're stepping into a new identity in their business. But the thing that we have to be really mindful of is that a lot of what makes you valuable in business comes from everything that you did before your business. Your previous career and life experience, uh, what you've overcome, the environments that you've worked in, and the types of people that you've worked with, the pressures that you've handled, um, the patterns that you've observed, uh, the problems that you've solved, the outcomes that you've created. All of this is where your deepest insights come from. And I think that matters even more now, because information on its own is becoming incred-incredibly accessible, right? People can Google things. They can, you know, get information from AI. They can watch endless amounts of videos on YouTube. Uh, but what people really are paying for when they come to see you is that they're paying for your depth, your discernment, and your perspective. Your pattern recognition. Uh, I know that's one thing for me that I, I have such good pattern recognition that you're never gonna get that from AI. Um, your wisdom, your safety, um, your own leadership, and your-- that fully embodied understanding that you have that your clients can't get just from a YouTube video. So they really want someone who understands the deeper structure of what's really going on for them. And so, you know, I wanna give you an example of this because, uh, back in the mid-'90s, I worked as a non-destructive testing technician, as an NDT technician. Now, if you haven't ever heard of that, well, I'm not surprised, um, because it's not like, you know, there's heaps of these around. Uh, but my job was to inspect pressure points in industrial environments or heavy engineering. So I would do a lot of testing on metal and welds and, you know, bends on pipes and structural metal components and, uh, and I was a licensed radiographer, and I'd do ultrasonics and magnetic particle inspection and dye penetrant inspection, and they're just all, you know, fancy terms for looking for cracks and defects that are either beneath the s- the surface or invisible to the naked eye. So, you know, when people, uh, weld metal, often that those welds, if they're not done correctly, will have little cracks in them, or they'll have gas pores in them, um, they might have inclusions in them, or, or, you know, there might be some kind of erosion that's happening under the surface And, uh, these, these things, like I said, they're not visible to the naked eye, but, uh, they absolutely matter to the integrity of the structure because under pressure, those, uh, hidden weaknesses become a problem. And looking back now, I realize that I do the exact same thing now but with people. It's just in a different environment. And I look for hidden weaknesses in people and their businesses, things that aren't obvious to, you know, if you're just looking at strategy, um, and they're the emotional pressure points, like the structural gaps in people's businesses and their nervous system, um, overloaded nervous systems, people having unclear boundaries, um, people having avoidance around money. They might have communication issues, you know, lack of real support structures, um, identity conflicts, and, uh, the patterns that, you know, that are there that when the pressure starts to increase, and often there is a lot of pressure when you're in business or starting a business or growing a business. If you don't resolve those underlying sort of weaknesses, then you're likely to crack under pressure. So you might be burning out or sabotaging your growth. And most people think about business problems as surface-level problems, um, and looking at strategy, but most people's problems are actually really structural. They're structural within themselves, and then that shows up in their business. And so the reason that I naturally coach the way I do is because my brain was trained years ago to really assess integrity under pressure. And that experience really became part of my methodology. So it's part of my thought leadership. It's part of the way that I see the world. Um, and then of course, I spent twenty years in accounting and finance as well. So, you know, these unique set of skills that I have are very relevant to how I coach and how I p- help people transform and help them in their business. And so we're gonna look at why do people actually reject their past? And, you know, what I see happen a lot in this industry, in the coaching industry, is that people, um, are trying to become a completely different person than what they were in their role. So it might have been like they're coming out of corporate or something else, and now they're in the health and wellbeing space or coaching space, uh, and suddenly they don't wanna talk about old career or they wanna be removed from it because they've rejected it as part of that transition out of it. They feel like they don't want to be connected to it, and it feels like a big conflict in their identity between who they are and who they were. And so, you know, I see people coming out of, you know, government, corporate roles, you know, nursing, you know, all kinds of different office and different types of, um, career backgrounds. And then they kind of feel embarrassed about it or that they're downplaying that they're stepping into a more wellbeing or spiritual or purpose-driven sort of identity. But what they don't realize is that experience is often exactly what gives them the depth in who they help now, and it gives you context and understanding and, and really being able to relate to your ideal clients and be an authority in that space of how to help them, uh, and that you've got real-world application of that. And so, you know, quite often you find that your clients are either, uh, people who used to be where, um, well, they are where you used to be or that they're going through something that you've overcome. Um, and they nee- they're needing the perspective that you gained through your life experience. And so when you reject your past, you often reject your authority at the same time. And so one of the biggest shifts that's happening now is that we're needing to really step into our own power and authority, especially in business, because information alone is becoming much less valuable. Um, but that doesn't mean that your expertise is less valuable. It means that the generic information that you can get out of ChatGPT or off of Google or off of YouTube is just not as valuable 'cause it's just too readily accessible. Your clients don't just want information, they want integration, and they want someone who, uh, can really see the deeper pattern and someone who understands the nuance and someone who can help them apply the information to them in real time. And that comes from very, you know, from lived experience And so, you know, this is why, you know, I was talking to one of my clients the other day, and I said, "You know, if I'd just come out of school and, uh, you know, did an MBA," however you do an MBA, um, "I wouldn't be able to help my clients that I have now as well as I do with all the life experience that I have without having an MBA." Because what my life experience and skills are, are specific to my ideal clients and what I know that they need. So, you know, this is the big shift that we have to think about. And, uh, your, your lived experience changes the way that your knowledge lands. It changes the way you think about your clients and how you can help them resolve the problems that they have. And, uh, and so, you know, your story really creates your own intellectual property. A lot of people think that, um, you know, IP is just frameworks and diagrams, but it's also the way that you think and the way that you see patterns, um, the metaphors that you use, the connections that you make, uh, and the experiences that have really shaped your perspective. So your story, your whole lifelong story and career and everything you've experienced really does influence your own unique methodology of how you get results. And so, you know, the things that you think are random are actually clues to your superpowers. Uh, and so, you know, that's the thing that I often get people to do is just really do a detailed history of everything you've ever done and where you've been and all those kinds of things. And it's so interesting to find what people pull out that they've just not really considered and not really thought of. Um, you know, I know for a long time I just completely was like, "Oh yeah, that NDT stuff, that was something I did for a few years in my early 20s." Um, but it wasn't till I r-realized the relevance of that and what I learned from that, that it really, um, deepened the work that I actually do and how I help people. And so this really matters because if you're not fully accepting of everywhere you've been and, and all of your skills and all of your background, then you're going to have a kind of like an energy of that there's something not in alignment. There's something that maybe you're trying to hide or whatever that people are going to pick up on, and they won't be able to necessarily put a finger on it or name it, but they'll just know that there's something about you that they can't connect with because you're not connecting with it. And so really, your audience, your-- the people who wanna connect with you wanna connect with the full version of you. That's how they'll feel safe. That's how they'll go, "Yes, I know what's going on here." Um, and, you know, you'll be more real, right? Because people are so exhausted now from all of the polished, generic style content that is out there. People don't wanna see the picture perfect or whatever. Like, everyone's like, "I'm, I'm over that fake crap." So you wanna be real, and you wanna be authentic, and you wanna go deep into the insights that you actually have from your experiences. Uh, people want to feel that someone is real right behind their words. And so often, you know, you'll find that your most magnetic content comes from integrating your actual life into your message. Not oversharing. I don't mean trauma dumping. You know, I don't wanna see people crying on social media. Oh my God, that's one of my pet peeves when people are on-- crying on social media to, like, make themselves seem more authentic or more real or, or whatever. And it's just like, "Oh, dude, like, sort yourself out, and then tell us about how you overcome it." Right? Like, unless you have a desperate cry for help, uh, and you're so desperate for help that you gotta do it and ask on social media, don't be crying on social media. Um- People want your perspective and your insights. They don't wanna feel like you're there in the trenches with them. They wanna feel like you can help them step out of the trenches, right? Um, but the audience wants your perspective, not just recycled tips. Um, and that's why I really believe that some people really struggle to stand out online, and you could be posting every day, but no one's really paying attention to it because it's all generic, like, two-dimensional stuff. Um, and if you're trying to sound like everybody else instead of integrating your real experiences into your message, then people are gonna just gloss over, you know, what it is that you're on about. Um, and that's not good if you want clients, and it's not authentic to yourself. You know, we not-- want to make sure that we're not abandoning those parts of ourselves because that's where the gold is. So I really wanna leave you today with, um, you know, s- a few questions that you can perhaps reflect on for yourself from this episode. So like I said, it's always a really great exercise to go through and list, like, every job you've ever had, every achievement you've ever made, every experience, challenge, r- result, whatever. Like, really list them all out and s- just notice what do you feel that you've been dismissing or, um, you know, not really paying attention to. Um, you know, look at what skills and environments or experiences really shape the way that you think Um, what's the pressure that you've learned to navigate? Um, you know, what have you overcome that now allows you to support others differently? Because you are unique, and the more you're gonna be able to explain that, the more you're gonna stand out in... as a, you know, um, category of one, which is what you wanna do. Um, and really think about, you know, what are the patterns that you see because of the life you've lived? What is it that's different? Because your business should not require you to reject any parts of yourself. You want to be fully integrated and accepting of all of those parts of yourself, and, uh, and then be able to bring that depth to your work. And so, you know, the, the people who create the g- deepest impact are the ones who stop trying to sound impressive and start speaking from their lived truth and connecting with the people who need their help the most. So remember, your past experience is not separate from your business. It's part of the foundations of your authority. It's your depth, it's your wisdom, it's your leadership, and, you know, in a world full of surface level information, that full embodied experience you have is incredibly valuable. So, you know, start thinking about that. What has my life taught me to see that others might miss or might benefit from? And this is where, you know, your world real work begins. So that's it for me from today. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. Um, yeah. Now is the time, my friends. If you love this episode, you can help me get the message out to more people. Simply leave a review and share this episode with someone who'd love to hear it. Thanks for tuning into the Coaching Circle. I'll catch you in the next episode.